So apparently the most common question in interviews is "Why Advertising"? I'll save you the trouble and get it out of the way.

 

I don't want to end up in hell.

 

Everyone in my family went to law school. If I didn't do advertising, that's where I'd be. And apparently, lawyers go to hell. If you think it's just a joke, and that lawyers do meet happier ends, let me remind you that Shakespeare himself said "let's kill all the lawyers". I would know, I saw that on a fridge magnet on my nightly leftovers raids. 

 

So, if you would be so kind as to help me endure a better fate, and leave this earth with the knowledge that I'm departing to a land of fluffy clouds and unlimited sparkling water (because I'm supposing heaven does indeed accommodate those of us in favour of drinking air), I'd really appreciate it. 

 

Basically, if you want to help me avoid a certain eternity in the fiery pits of hell, please contact me below.

 

(I am indeed opposed to fiery pits. Whether in the ground or on the body. Singed armpits don't sound like a particularly pleasant idea.)

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If you found this funny, have a laugh by checking out my Trashvertising page!